Thursday, February 3, 2011

Zubin's story

It was a heavy monsoon day and the city was flooded. Even though it was only 4 in the afternoon, the sky was gloomy, and the low chassis buses skimmed through knee deep water. Not many people in the bus today, as I boarded. I headed for a popular, crowded dosa-idli joint in South Ex and waited for my anonymous friend to arrive. I tried my best to be comfortable, with my shirt and trousers hanging on me, wet with the heavy shower.
A tall, heavyset young man wandered towards me, his clean shaven face honest and smiling, his hand extended. “Zubin”, he said, introducing himself. I said my most improbable name, and he laughed.
His story...
He had loving parents, and both were busy working, until he became depressed. He could not take the pressure of studies in the elite MBA school. In the second year he cracked up. They brought him back and put him in an institution. Matter of factly, he narrated the many times his parents put him away in the institution. He said this quietly, without judgment or remorse or any expression of anger towards his parents. He seemed okay with that or he was not telling. His hands were trembling and shaking without any relief. He was many times what I had imagined to have been his pre-meds size.
He talked mildly about being sexually abused in a popular lock up facility in Mumbai. His voice fell and he went still. His eyes were downcast. His shoulders stooped. But his voice was non judgmental.
He talked about friends inside the also popular lock up facility in New Delhi: One of them was a writer. Her brother had migrated to the US, and had incarcerated both his mom and his sister. Zubin was sad about this and wanted to do something. He had checked with lawyers. They said to file habeas corpus. He didn’t know if his parents would allow that. Another one was there because his family could not take his spiritual pursuits. This other man was about 55 years of age, and Zubin felt that was the correct age for thinking about God. However that man’s family had disinherited him and put him away.
Zubin needed to talk to someone about this. So that's why we met. Story over, he got up to leave.
Sadly, I watched Zubin walk away. Never heard from him after that. He didn’t respond to my emails. Hope he is okay.

Are KF calendar girls MAD?

A story came in from Em-n-Em today. Here it is.

Enough of rubbish has bin tolerated by women like you and me, your mom, my mom and several others more. The very act of institutionalising a woman who is shouting against the domestic violence perpetuated on her in itself is totally against her fundamental rights to be heard, to ask for help, to live and breathe freely, to express , to resort to a emotional discharge.
How come so called ‘normal’ people are permitted to do their emotional discharge by resorting to murder, loot, arson, burning of buses, rapes, destruction of public property - no one raises a finger, leave alone call them ‘mad’! How come- then this is termed as "rush of adrenaline" biologically uncontrollable by men- for they have a birth right to have so much of hormones flowing in their blood!
And to institutionalise a woman - drug her, inject her with medicines to calm her - and then term her "dangerous for others and society to prevent the harm with she may do” - so she is chained in hospitals - actually torture chambers - or locked in cellars / house arrest! Wonderful!!!
Some of you will remember the talk in the Capital with that psychiatrist from the big famous hospital, when he was justifying the chaining of women inmates in Erwadi tradegy- (I hope I got it right) - just imagine the poor women struggling to escape, shrieking with pain, their bodies on fire – horrible - how can that @x$%@**  who created the place in the first place not charged with homicide?
In the papers you must have read this case of Engineers who were protesting against the raise in salaries of Pilots in the Airforce: The pilots were given an additional perk by the name of "flying pay". So the engineers too protested and wanted their salaries to be raised. The Engineer who led the protest was put in house arrest by the other Airforce Officers. He was termed as psychiatrically ill by army doctors. The same news was realised in the papers and even the TV covered that.
Recently, there was this RAW women officer who was sexually harrassed by her superiors and suspended when she protested. Papers say she is an ex-RAW officer. This women is running from pillar to post to get back her job, take action against her perpetuators, but nothing is happening. Her superiors are continuing to report for work, they carry their salaries home and are having a nice time with their families. So recently, to protest against the harassment and because the judges  were just sitting on the case, she took off her clothes. She said she will do this more times. So, imagine, the magistrate ordered her to be sent to the Institute of behavioural sciences. Her parents have filed for her release from the asylum on the ground that she is worked up / stressed out and that, she needs to take care of her teenage daughters. Worse, the magistrate is not releasing her. He is saying the treatment will do her good. It is all in the papers.
Protima Bedi took off her clothes and ran on the beaches and it was splashed in all magazines. Kingfisher Calendar shooting of naked women is proudly shown on TV and splashed in the newspapers.  Oh, that is a piece of art for all to enjoy. So these models shoot to fame and are considered fully normal and not only that, paid a hefty fees for their stripping services that tantalise fantasies.
Why recently, in some world record, there was a game shown at prime time of 9pm. Women in their red colour bras were lined up and a man / particiapnt was required to open the bra in the fastest time possible. So, nobody sends these women to psychiatric hospitals and what about the organisation and the TV guys who made this program!
Men cannot be allowed to decide when a woman is sane and when she is insane. If nudity is considered insanity-then what about the erotic scultures in temples of Puri, Konark, Khujarao? Even the United Nations pumps money for the empowerment of women to its women related ministries. So if the men in India keep declaring women insane then there is no point in sending such support funds to a country of rogue men. What is the point when all efforts are nullified and corrupted. The very Domestic Violance Act passed by the parliament of the nation stands to be defeated if the husbands, brothers, fathers declare their own wives, sisters, moms with the help of the godly psychiatrists as "MAD".
This “MAD” word should be done away with. It has become so common for men to coin their wives -MAD- if merely they do not toe their line. Imagine the damage done to her image / job prospects / remarriage / livelihood / because the society believes the man.